I've had an interesting week, i hopped on a plane and visited beautiful friends in Melbourne. I played a show and had a meeting with my publishing company.I barely made any money but i didn't mind, the gifts i received on this trip meant more than money in my purse.

 

The Wesley Anne, photo by Oliver Happy
 

I am constantly in awe of some of the people that work at Mushroom and the way they have supported my career through the birth of my child, through the phase i went through of only writing dark, slow and sombre experimental type music and much more too. Instead of feeling pressure i feel an uplifting sense of gratitude for their patience and understanding. And they get me. They get that i'm not shooting for the moon. I just love to write, make good records and be a good Mum. A good person. They love me as i am.

 

I also parted ways with my management team after over a year of working together. It was swift, it was sudden and it was clean. Sometimes people are in your life for a little while until you both agree that 'our work here is done.' I believe that i needed help in starting up my musical 'career' (Sometimes the word 'career' seems so annoying to me.) after such a long break where all i did was pat my son's head, nap and breastfeed. I'm pretty sure i did other things too but those are the things that stand out to me. Now i feel like it's time for me to take over things myself again, with more confidence and a belief in myself. I lost that. Anyway. Short story really, we had different ideas on who Sarah Humphreys is. Was. Whatever.

 

'I'm happy being me. '

'We're not happy with that.'

'I'm happy being me.'

END OF RELATIONSHIP.

SARAH LEFT FEELING SLIGHTLY BEWILDERED.

 

 

There are enough people in the world on YOUR wavelength to not bother with the people who aren't. There are enough people who like you, just as you are. You don't have to break, you don't even have to bend. You can just wish them well and go on your merry little way. You can have a little cry. You can have a big cry. Or you can just simply let go and swap your contacts list, fix up any outstanding bills and return to being you.

 

Off to The National Folk Festival in Canberra tomorrow, i should finish packing our woollens right now but i needed a morning to just drink tea and read your beautiful little writings. I have a bunged up nose so i think this decision is wise. A morning of rest. Meetings with ABC next week about when i'll be recording and releasing my next album. My second full length album. I'm more than a little bit excited and very ready.

 

So there you go. I'm happy being Sarah. I accept who she is, how she looks, how she is. It feels nice to say that. To all of you. (All seven of you.) ;)

 

x

I'd love you to watch it, share it and absorb this beautiful Wilco song. I've cried many a tear listening to Wilco, i've rocked my baby boy to sleep listening to their collaboration with Billy Bragg and singing Woody Guthrie lyrics. It's close to my heart...

 

 

My first little clip with many more to come... 'You Make My Dreams' is halfway finished.

 

Things are happening, it's awesome. This balancing act is working out. Phew.

 

x

I think i have just thought up the two most boring resolutions of my life. It's almost embarrassing for me to admit to them, for my fear of being 'boring' overrides many many other fears in my life.

1. Asking questions (repeatedly) instead of making statements. 

Instead of 'I want to go to the shops' he says;

'Do you want to go to the shops?'

'Do you want to go to the shops darlin?'

Do you want to go to the shops sweet pea?

Then you ask him the question?

Mummy : 'Do you want to go to the shops sweet pea?'

And he answers in the most beautiful tone///

'Yaaaiis'

2.  Reading books

3. Puzzlin' with his puzzles.

4. Bubbles. 

5. Santa. Talking about Santa. 

6. Multivitamins disguised as bear lollies

7. Play doh. Where he orders what he would like you to make and then watches you make it. Sometimes he may contribute by making some wheels/eyes. Maaaayyyybe.

8. Painting. Or should i say 'moving paint around with his hands or a stick.'

9. Playing 'shopping trolleys and prams' where he and another little human (or a big human most of the time) run around after each other from his room to the lounge room and back again. Over and over again. His tiny little friends even get tired of this waaaay before Jude does.

10. 'Jumping' on the bed. Even though Jude can't jump - naw!

11. Feeding the chickens next-door or the ducks at the lake. 

12. The rookpool in Terrigal. They should start charging for that place* it's so freekin cool. * - Please don't.

13. The Thomas The Tank Engine ride at Erina Fair. He sits very still and has a slight smile on his face, but mostly it's a look of utter seriousness, concentration and awe of all that is Thomas. Only a mother knows, this is the most excited face of all.

14. Wheels. Fans. Washing machines. Dryers. Air conditioning units. Things that go round and round. Sometimes we'll spend 20 minutes watching the washing machine? Then when we're at other people's houses, he asks to see their washing machines. Yep.

15. The people he loves. There's a few special people to Jude, me included and he loves us so. We love him back. So much. More than he will ever know. But i hope he knows as much as he can know.

Oh and obviously watching his favourite movies and TV shows on our crappy TV. But i'm not going to put THAT in. Cars, Toy Story, Dora The Explorer, Giggle & Hoot, Roary The Racing Car?. 

But before i go on with my blog post i will introduce myself...

My name is Sarah, Sarah Humphreys. I make music and two years ago i created my masterpiece, his name is Jude. I loved him the minute i looked into his eyes. I remember being amazed that when he heard my voice, he stopped crying. I have never felt such immense awe in my whole life. I found it hard to get back into gigging and writing and i was hard on myself. I did my first gig when he was three weeks old and wondered why i was such a failure? Why couldn't i cope with being a mother and musician? I now think back to those days and want to give myself a big warm hug and say 'get off the freekin stage and leave yourself alone!' But i can't. I can only smile, sigh and know that when i finally did realise i just needed to learn how to be a Mother for a while. For as long as it took, even if that was forever. And that if there's no band room and you're a breastfeeding mother, don't say yes to the gig.

Peace came with slowing down. I wasn't sure if i'd ever do 'the music thing' again. Well other than the odd gig here and there.  Write songs, show my family, have family jams. And then slowly but surely it came back...I started writing and people wanted to hear what i'd written. I started giving away my non maternity clothes that i'd been wearing for what felt like EIGHT YEARS and pulled out some vintage dresses (and bought a few more late night shopping on ebay.) My marriage ended amicably and my ex-husband and i went back to being what we've suspected we've always been best as - friends. Jude weaned himself at sixteen months with a simple shake of the head, he never went back on. I was equal parts heartbroken and relieved, a chapter of his babyhood was over and i was proud of the commitment i had made to breastfeeding which wasn't always easy/natural/painless. I look back on that time with such fondness. A sweet little bub asleep on the boob, and those night feeds/cuddles. Sigh. Anyway what was i saying? Music! Yes. People wanted to hear my voice again, and my voice was there waiting patiently for me. I signed a record deal with ABC and made a new EP with an album coming out next year. People remembered me. I grew as a writer and as a person. I was broken in half from motherhood and when i put myself back together, i was remade into who i am now. A lady i'm quite proud of. Just when i thought it was all over...

I think in two years time i will want to put my arm around who i am today and say 'You're doing a great job. And it's all going to be okay. Promise.'

Yes.

Love & stuff x Sare

So many things in my life are coming to an end and so many things are blossoming. I am also in the middle of a few stories too, very excited and a little shaky about what will become of these tales. There's a new EP to launch, special birthdays to plan and attend and a garage sale to organise for my Dad.  Dad recently moved into a little 'apartment' better suited to him and his needs. So we've been going through a lifetime of books, paintings, nik-naks and memories together. Special.

 

My beautiful son turns two in one month, we're having a teeny tiny celebration with his four little best friends. There will be bubbles, handmade play dough, vegemite sandwiches & a big 'Grug' chocolate cake. But the thing he is most excited about is; Pass The Parcel. We played at his little friend Dylan's birthday and he talked about it all week;

 

'Pass the parcel.' 

'Tear the paper off!'

'Pass the parcel roller'

(He got a little plastic roller truck when it was his turn. I think he genuinely might have fallen over with sheer disbelief if he wasn't sitting in my lap.)

 

It really must have been pretty magical to him. It just looked like a big pile of newspaper but in it were hidden treasures and everyone got a turn at opening a special present. 

 

I feel that's what my life is like now, opening lots of presents that i've been waiting patiently for my whole life. It fills me with excitement, fear, nervousness and sometimes the newness of everything overwhelms me.

 

It's my turn!  SHIT!

 

Check my shows page for my special celebration/launch shows in November & December.

 

x

 

 

I was asked to play at the event below last year but had a young bub and felt like too much of a hermit crab to scuttle out and support such a wonderful cause. He was a tough little person, he didn't like crowds, being out of my arms for a second or being passed around and i knew it wasn't my time to help and i was, like i try to be always, easy on myself and thought 'maybe next year.'

 

Well it's next year! And i'm SO keen to be a part of this wonderful day. Jude is bigger and braver and he'll be there too. Probably annoyed that i'm not playing an entire set of wiggles songs. But you can't have your own way all the time, mate. 

 

All you have to do to support this wonderful cause (Coast Shelter) is show up and make a donation. It's not hard. By simply showing up you've shown kindness, compassion and love to your fellow humans.

 

There's some wonderful artists playing including Rocwater, Michael Peter, Paul Eagle, Jake Cassar, Kristi Bennett... the list goes on.

 

Rise Up 2 - Concert For the homeless

The Rhythm Hut

Sunday 16th October

11am til 6pm

141-145 Erina Street, Gosford

I'll be on around 4:30pm

 

Around 80 people a week are turned away from Central Coast shelters every week to go and brave the streets. That's around 4000 a year. All proceeds from this event will go to Coast Shelter. 

 

I also plan on donating all of my CD sales on the day to Coast Shelter so if you're after some Christmas presents and you already have one or two of my CDs, give me your cash and i'll give you a CD and i'll give it to people who need it more than us and you can wrap it up and give it to someone and we might have made a tiny difference together.

 

There's a facebook page for Rise Up 2 also, click on 'attending' and attend! 

 

x

 

'Perfectionism is the enemy of creation - John Updike said that and he was right. He understood that nothing stops the forward march of any creative endevour like the need to do it perfectly. And who is to judge what's perfect? What i have judged full of flaws so many have called terrific. Maybe the definition of perfection is something that actually gets DONE.' - Neale Donald Walsch.